Why do we speak?

11:47am, Friday February 23, 2024

Why do you speak? Why do you transition from silence, which occurs when you refrain from taking action, to speaking, which involves taking action?

You make a conscious choice to do so.

Each time you speak, you are making a decision to engage. This decision may happen in a fraction of a second, but it is still a choice to move from inaction to action.

So, why do you choose to speak? This is the current debate, yet the obvious initial step seems to be overlooked. We are not obliged to interact with bullies or abusers, regardless of how much they insist we do.

If someone insults you, you are not obligated to respond or react. Others do not have a right to demand our reactions. Just because a question is posed does not mean you are obligated to answer.

Saying, “I spoke because someone forced me to,” is always a false claim. I spoke because someone or something placed me in a situation where a choice had to be made.

We may be pressured, manipulated, and influenced to make decisions, but can we truly be made to? Even under a life or death threat, we still retain the power of choice.

No one has ever entered my being and compelled me to speak against my will. People have manipulated me through propaganda, gaslighting, etc., more times than I care to admit, but I still possessed the power of choice, even if momentarily forgotten.

That is the essence of manipulation. It seduces us into a realm where we surrender our will to another’s. It does not strip us of our will. It deceives us into giving it away. Even the act of relinquishing it is an act of will.

Every choice we make is our own. Every time we speak, it is our own action.

So, reflect on this. Why do you speak? Why do you break the silence when you do? Have you ever pondered this? I beg you to take a few minutes to consider it.

Consider someone insults you. Why react? Perhaps to express how their words impacted you, but why notify them? We inform others when offended to provide them a chance to understand and make amends, but they are not obligated to do so.

We offer them a chance to apologize, but not everyone will seize that opportunity; it is not guaranteed but rather a possibility. Expecting decency from others is naïve and entitled. You are not entitled to an apology; you are indicating that if no apology is offered, the relationship may suffer.

Before delving too deeply into that discussion, I will conclude today’s blog here. I believe each time we speak, we are exercising our will. Blaming others for our actions is twisted and incorrect. Just as nobody makes you experience emotions, but you react with feelings to stimuli, nobody forces you to speak, but you respond with words.

Words are tools, and we are the wielders of those tools. The power always resides with the wielders. If you claim others make you feel or do things, you are implying you are a tool manipulated by others. You are not; you are a wielder who has been misled into thinking they are a tool.

To be obedient is a choice. Even when it’s life or death it’s still a choice, life or death. How you feel about it doesn’t change that truth. You always have a choice. And you choices are your responsibility.

Your words are your choice.

We are Geppettos, not Pinocchios, including all the Geppettos who have been deceived into believing they are Pinocchios.

Stay mindful

InteGritti

The Organic Growth of Trust or The Mechanics of Genuine Trust.

Trust is a fundamental aspect of human relationships, but it cannot simply be spoken into existence. It is a delicate process that either grows or does not, and it can be easily broken or destroyed. This essay explores the importance of repetitive behavior, the role of instincts, and the limitations of verbal requests in cultivating trust. Additionally, it highlights the significance of consistency in fostering genuine, authentic, and grounded trust.

One of the primary ways trust is developed is through repetitive behavior. When we interact with someone over a period of time, observing their actions and consistency, trust gradually begins to take root. This process is akin to planting a seed, which can only grow if the behavior continues to repeat according to any agreements that have been made. Trust is fertilized by repetitive consistent behavior, and it is through this consistency that we gain certainty and learn to trust. We trust that gravity will continue to behave as it has done, because it has been consistently behaving that way.

But humans quite often try to skip the earning portion of trust for expediency’s sake. We hear this in suspenseful stories all the time often in life or death scenarios.

“There’s no time! I need you to trust me!”

In situations where someone asks us, "Can I trust you?" it is not our place to decide. We can only be honest about our intentions and actions. The decision to trust lies with the individual, who must rely on their instincts and personal experiences. Trust, in this sense, is not something that can be demanded or granted through verbal assurances. It is an organic process that requires time and evidence of consistent behavior. It is not a magic spell spoken into existence.

Attempts to rush the growth of trust through the dominant dictation of phrases like "trust me" are futile. In fact, such attempts often reveal impatience and a desire for trust solely for personal gain. Trust cannot be forced or manipulated. It is earned through actions and behaviors, not through any form of verbal magic.

“Might is right” aims to manufacture trust quickly through fear. Control through dominance and fear builds a different kind of trust. The trust that the tyrant(s) will harm us in some way. Fear of a person is trusting that they are dangerous.

Furthermore, trust that is not built on repetitive, consistent behavior is superficial and illusory. Genuine trust, the kind that is authentic and grounded, can only manifest through a process of observing repeated actions and behaviors. Any other form of trust is merely a facade or a result of buying or demanding credit. Trust that is not rooted in consistency is fragile and easily fractured.

Trust is a vital component of human relationships, but it cannot be instantaneously created or demanded. It grows over time through repetitive, consistent behavior. Verbal requests for trust hold little value unless they are supported by actions that align with those requests. Trust is an organic process that requires patience, observation, and the willingness to let it develop naturally. By understanding the importance of repetitive behavior and the limitations of verbal assertions, we can foster genuine, authentic, and grounded trust in our relationships.

Real trust grows like a flower, and cannot be rushed.

Stay Mindful

InteGritti

America Accountable

This piece began as a mindfulness exercise for me. I wanted to paint how I felt about the country I was raised in,

The United States of America.

I’d like to take you through my thought processes in the hopes that it resonates with others like me, and to avoid any misunderstandings

The Stars

The name of my country is already misleading since it doesn’t mention the 14 territories it currently claims. For this reason there are 65 stars including the capital.

The Circles

It is impossible to ignore the giant political divide that has been evolving since the inception of my country. Both sides sporting their colors anywhere and every where.

I see countless groups in their bubbles and constantly at odds with others refusing to widen their perspectives and certain of their justifications.

The Lines

I see so many mistakes not being taken accountability for, and I’m certain I’m not aware of them all. There are so many, but the ones I found when I searched my heart were as follows:

Gold - Greed

Feather - Genocide

Chain - Slavery

Crosshairs - Violence

Road - Consumerism

Railroad - Exploitation

Tribal Tattoo - Colonization

Rainbow - Discrimination

Pills/Daisies - Women’s Rights/Sufferage

Film - Lies

Code - Propaganda

Red blooded

Blue blooded

This is my country as I see it and I am here. I’m not better than anyone, or more important, or in any way entitled to anything.

I’m not trying to sway anyone or attack anyone. I just wanted to speak my peace and add it to the conversation.

I am an American and I am grateful to be one. However we have to own our mistakes if we are ever to evolve beyond them.

I hope we figure out this experiment we are all actively participating in.

Stay Mindful

InteGritti

My Reflection on Our Shared Journey: Evolving Together in Unity and Hope

Happy Hump Day One & All

In this introspective essay, I intend to explore my belief that our greatest task as human beings is to humbly encourage each other's growth and persevere through the trials we encounter. During my darkest moments, it is the words of those long gone that strike a chord within me, reminding me of our shared humanity and the humility that comes with being human. We are all in this together, whether we acknowledge our unity or remain divided on the planet we call Earth. To achieve our goal of resilience, we must recognize and embrace our ongoing collective experience.

A pressing question lingers in my mind: will we, as a species, continue to evolve in a manner that nurtures our existence, or will we succumb to destructive patterns resembling a virus? Perhaps a shared event, yet to unfold, could serve as a catalyst for unity, or perhaps it has already occurred, and we are only awaiting its consequences. In the present moment, certainty eludes us, leaving all outcomes hanging in the balance. I sincerely hope that we do not become a planet ravaged by nuclear fallout, transforming our world into a no-fly zone in the universe. I yearn for us to be more than a cautionary tale for future civilizations.

Recognizing my own insignificance in the grand scheme of things, I acknowledge that my perspective is shared by only a few among the 8 billion individuals inhabiting this planet. The process of evolution continues, and I am left to ponder whether humanity will adapt and thrive or remain stagnant. Please understand that my intention is not to speak down to others or claim intellectual superiority. Instead, I offer these reflections as lessons learned from the stories I have heard, aiming to prevent unnecessary conflicts. The very act of being alive presents us with enough challenges; additional strife is gratuitous and avoidable.

In conclusion, I urge mindfulness, encouraging us all to remain present and aware. I sign off as Chris, one tiny human being among billions, sharing my perspective with ignorant humility. This essay serves as a reminder that we are all part of a collective journey. It is through unity, understanding, and continuous growth that we can face the future with hope. Together, let us embrace our shared humanity and strive towards a better tomorrow.

Signing off on this Valentine’s Day from the razor edge of the abyss, but I’m still here.

Are you?

Stay Mindful

Chris Gritti