The Illusion of Separateness

Insight -InteGritti Wall Art

My thoughts on the illusion of separateness

There are a great number of examples of human beings, either individually or collectively, behaving as if they are separate within themselves and from others. For the individual this manifests as belief in the ID, the subconscious, the shadow self, and/or a soul. When it comes to groups of humans this illusion manifests itself as tribal behavior fighting over territory and resources. Humans group up, label another group of humans as “other” and in that moment create an illusion of separateness. Like it or not but this manner of behavior very closely parallels that of chimpanzees,

Quite a lot of humans believe they are cosmic visitors transported to Earth from another realm entirely. How is this ongoing energy migration happening? According to humans who believe this theory, there is a “separate” essence, or soul, that enters a human body at some time during gestation phase of pregnancy but it’s vague. That same essence pilots the body during the human’s mortal life, and then migrates back to wherever I came from after the body expires. These humans spend the majority of their lives strongly believing they are a combination of separate things working together like a team. If the separate entities of Mind, body, and soul learn to work together they can collectively share the fulfilling experience of a human mortal life.

Do any other life forms on Earth do this? Does every life have this cosmic essence driving it while it exists? Do chimpanzees have souls, or elephants, or dogs, or octopuses, or birds? We have no evidence or reason to believe that any other life on Earth is not native to our planet. So it’s just humans???? I don’t buy it. We know animals exhibit behavior that strongly suggests feelings of some kind, and we know plenty of plants species that do as well.

I believe that the so called soul is the equivalent of Dumbo’s magic feather. Dumbo didn’t believe he could fly, so his friend gives him a feather and tells him it’s magic. Without his fear stopping him he took off into the sky. Humans are afraid of their mortality and therefore afraid to live, but with a magic “eternal soul” there’s no need to be afraid. So they live their lives less fearfully because they believe their soul is immortal.

They live their whole life with the strong belief that they are not one whole being, but many. I say this is another example of the illusion of separateness.

I am an individual consciousness. A contained human unit. My mind is a product of my biology. There is no real border within us mentally between the “mind” and the “body”. We discuss them separately because breaking complicated concepts down is how we learn and attempt to understand. We create the illusion of separateness to study ourselves and our world, but it is still an illusion Nonetheless.

I am one complete human being. Complicated and difficult to understand, but complete regardless. I am not half a heart searching to be completed by another. For that to be true I’d have to create an illusion that I am lacking in some way. It Doesn’t resonate as a healthy or wise mindset to me.

Before I go too far down the rabbit whole here with illusion of separateness within a human individually, I’d like to touch on the tribal groups and their illusions of separateness. I will attempt to be concise, but I promise nothing.

Humans are one group, not separate. However, we are a part of the great ape family. Sooooo then maybe I should say: Apes are one group, not separate.

Note to reader, if you just felt offended, you are responding like an ape.

But wait, apes are a member of the mammal family as well. That would make Mammals are one group, not separate. Remember differences and diversity aren’t relevant in this context. We are exploring the illusion of separateness, but hopefully you are getting the idea so I’ll speed this up a bit no make it less repetitive.

Mammals are a part of the Animal family, and the animals family is a part of the organic life family, and all life one Earth shares the planet as home, even the innert matter such as rocks are a part of our existence here on Earth.

Earth is one group, not separate or incomplete. Earth is a part of the planet family…now hopefully I’ve made my point.

Separateness only exists through conscious perception, which is limited in its capabilities.

The Universe is one group, not separate.

I only share my individual subjective perception here, and if my perspective is uncomfortable for you dear reader please know that is not my intention. I simply wish to share my mind on this matter of the illusion of separateness. Perhaps a wiser human could express it better, and if so I hope someday they will.

Stay Mindful

InteGritti

My 7 Daily Affirmations

It’s okay if people don’t like me.

No matter what you do. 

No matter how close you come to becoming the best version of yourself. 

There will always be people who don’t like you, don’t vibe with you.

Nobody has ever attained the title “Universally Liked” by all human beings.

It’s okay, accept it.

Nothing to say, that’s okay.

Empty air in a conversation can be awkward, and my habit has been to fill that uncomfortable silence with more conversation. 

It took me a long time to realize that the “uncomfortable” part of the silence might be subjective.

Meaning I might the only one who is uncomfortable in those silences and I’m projecting that everyone else is as uncomfortable as I am. 

In fact, many people are more comfortable in the silence. 

Now when I find myself confronted by a dreaded lull in the conversation, I remind myself “Nothing to say? That’s okay!” then I can focus on why it feels so uncomfortable for me and learn to get a handle on my disadvantageous, trauma conditioned, and fallacious mindsets. 

 Choose progress over perfection.

Perfection is a concept, an idea.

It’s a direction we reach for and as we do, we progress bit by bit and grow as human beings. 

Perfection is a direction, not a destination.

If you are getting better than you were, then you’re doing it right.

 There is no law if fairness.

Like perfection, fairness is an idea. 

Fairness is a human made concept speaking to our inherent appreciation for reciprocity as social animals. 

Fairness isn’t a given, it isn’t a right, and that means none of us are entitled to it. 

For things to “feel fair” people have to protect it and maintain it. 

The world is indifferent to your life’s positives or negatives because is doesn’t separate the two as humans do. 

We don’t deserve things to be fair, but we can we agree and make them fair, and if someone doesn’t agree then we can choose not to engage further with them. 

Walk more than you talk.

These days people talk a lot, and I mean most people talk more than they do anything else. Bragging, Promoting, Complaining, and so on are all examples of talking. 

You don’t need to do any of them to actually do things. 

If you are a good song writer then write songs and let you work speak for you. 

If you are in good shape and enjoy working out then good for you keep going. 

If you great with numbers, great at “reading” people, great at cooking, hunting, driving, photography, sex, WHATEVER, then let your work speak for itself. 

Basically, if you keep busy walking, getting stuff done, then you don’t feel compelled to talk about it as much. 

What’s point of telling people what you can do when you can do it, and show them.        

Humble Bragging is still bragging. 

If you know it, own it. 

Speaking aloud doesn’t make it more true.

Appreciate the little things     

It is so flipping easy to focus on the negatives. I overslept, it’s raining, the bread has mold, I’m out of beer, I haven’t gone to the gym in a week.

Mom/Dad doesn’t approve of my lifestyle, sexuality, profession, etc.

Still every day things go well too. We just don’t tend to notice when things are going well because we aren’t fighting uncomfortable feelings.

If we get up on time and get the coffee brewing, win

If we get to the gym, win

If we get the report in on time, win

If we chose to live our lives following our passion and being confident in who we are and who we love no matter what our parents think, win.

The last one isn’t little, but appreciating the little things has led to seeing the bigger things worth appreciating in my life. 

 Nobody can make me feel anything, they can only inspire me to feel things.

My feelings are mine. 

My thoughts are mine. 

Other people’s feelings are theirs. 

Other people’s thoughts are theirs. 

If someone shares one of their thoughts with me, I am under no obligation to adopt it as one of mine, Period. I choose. 

Others can convince, inspire, terrorize, and manipulate me to change my mind, but I always retain the power of my own free will. 

My feelings are my reactions to the thoughts that come into my mind. 

Some of those thoughts are mine, some are offered to me by others, and other thoughts come from who know where? 

So, when I feel something, its coming from within me. Its not being put there by someone or something outside of me. 

My feelings are mine, and my responsibility. 

Its more liberating than you might think. 

Some final thoughts

I ask you to remember that I’m sharing tools that work for me, and I’m am in no way forcing or presuming to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. I don’t like when others “should” me without consent anymore than anyone else. These affirmations are part of my personally calibrated mental health process, and I know they work for me. These mindsets have helped me stay grounded throughout the process of learning to love myself. I like to say, for the first time in my life, I finally like myself. I have faith that these tools will continue to keep me grounded, and one day, maybe soon than I can even imagine (probably not) I will get to place of mental resiliency and emotional self-regulation. On that day I’ll be able to genuinely say I love myself…maybe. 

So that is why I’m sharing this with you. Whoever you are, where ever you are I hope you find mental resiliency and emotional self-regulation as well. I also acknowledge that you may resonate with different mindsets than these, so add these to your mental database if, and only if, they resonate with you. The affirmations that don’t resonate, speak to our different journeys and challenges in life, but they don’t make us at odds. 

Sending support to everyone out there taking responsibility and doing the shadow work, going to therapy, getting involved in support group, and most importantly not giving up. 

Thank you for reading, and I hope to hear some of your favorite affirmations as well.

Stay Mindful

InteGritti Design MeaniNgs

Every product in my store is designed to help increase mindfulness and therefore for positive growth in our society

Honest Human - I don’t like lying. As a human I understand that being honest isn’t always easy or even wise. However, being mindfully honest takes practice, and I am setting the intention to be more mindful about honesty both from others and to myself.

On My Honor - I am setting the intention and announcing that I will act with integrity, and do what is right to the best of my ability. More importantly I will do this even when nobody is watching. I don’t do it for attention, praise, or gain.

Reflect - the heart of mindfulness is reflection. Taking the time to consider, or review. I set the intention to be more mindful by taking more time to reflect before I respond. It is mindfulness through reflection that saves us from reacting from a place of pain instead of responding from a grounded sense of self.

Breathe - one of the simplest and most effective ways to regain balance is to bring our awareness back to the breath. To breathe mindfully is a fundamental tool on the path of integrity.

NEW AND COMING SOON - SERIES TWO

Yell=Chip - this one might not be for everyone. I have found in my life that more often than not when I get heated and begin to yell the heart of my problem is the chip on my shoulder. The trauma induced trigger that caused me to forget myself, and become angry. This one is me setting the intention to be mindful of when I’m yelling and to check myself to see if it’s due to a “me” problem or not before responding.

Won’t Fake - I am not a big fan of the fake it till you make it mindset, and I know that’s an unpopular opinion. However, I prefer to be authentic and genuine and remain unnoticed than to be disingenuous to gain attention. I won’t fake it till I make it. I will simply continue to walk with integrity

Stay Mindful

exiting The thought stream

Exiting the thought stream

Calming the mind during meditation is very similar to swimming in the ocean. The more you move the more you turn up the water around you, and if you can become as motionless as possible, you still exist in motion of the ocean.

When we begin to meditate, we do things like sit still, close our eyes, focus on our breath, and we often do this in a quiet location. Every kind of stimulus we can remove, is like slowing the motion of one of our limbs while swimming.

When we close our eyes and cut ourselves off from visual stimuli, it is the equivalent of us slowing our kicking legs while swimming in the ocean. Or like closing windows on your desktop, computer or apps on your phone. It allows the processor which in the case of meditation is your mind to have less to compute. It frees up space.

If this still isn’t making sense, I’ll try another metaphor.

This one might be more taboo or gross so consider yourself warned, but hopefully if you haven’t gotten the point, this will help.

Imagine you’ve just taking a dump, or a poop. In that toilet bowl exists water and your doodoo. You know that when you flush the toilet water will churn up and spiral with all of the poo and go down the drain. You also know that as long as everything is functioning correctly, all you have to do is wait a little while and the bowl will refill with doodoo-free water.

you also know that before you can get rid of the Poo, you’ve got a stir up the water. Which is why when we sit down to meditate we tell you not to fight the swirling and chaotic storm of thoughts, but to try to relax and allow it to settle on its own. It’s the effort you take to stop thinking that keeps you mentally kicking in the swirling thought stream.

A properly executed meditation session is the equivalent, to flushing your toxic thoughts and beliefs, and hangups, and so on. What I call mental poo.

By the way, if any of this has in some way, upset or offended you, I invite you to recognize that you might have some poo to release too.

Stay Mindful